I miss sleep


 

 

I love to sleep. I’ve even day dreamed about sleeping. This ‘dream’ has my husband and I on a white sandy beach, tucked away under huge trees with a plush raised bed….sleeping. You would think my dream would include my husband (or a pool boy) in something close to nothing…but it doesn’t. I couldn’t even tell you what he is wearing. I just know he is there, next to me, asleep. It’s quiet. And in this dream, I sleep through the night, wake up eat, and just go back to bed….sleep through the day. So romantic. No hot steamy moments…just sleep. 

I’ve decided I miss writing. I thought that it would be better to wait and launch a new site (which I’m researching), but in reality, I need to write. Even if it’s about the fact that I can’t sleep. So many spouses can relate to this. My husband was recently away for a few weeks and it was terrible. I am a “2 week-er.” It takes me two weeks into a deployment to get my “stuff” together and myself on a schedule. For two weeks I eat like crap, don’t sleep, and completely run off the tracks. But, after that, I can operate without a glitch. I know others are “1 day-ers” or “3 week-ers”. It just depends. So, when the husband was away, I had just enough time to not sleep and be in a complete funk…then he returned.

The first night he was home, I was relieved. I thought, “I’ll finally sleep!!!” Nope. He was breathing. It’s funny how absence makes the heart grow fonder and being there suddenly makes you want to put a pillow over…..push them out of the bed. He’s always ‘breathed’. . .I just spent weeks getting used to him not breathing in my ear and now, it’s back. I know, I shouldn’t complain. I have my husband home. But. I have to be honest. His breathing is why I couldn’t sleep. Funny how that works. I’ve adjusted again, but for the love of all things good, I’m not getting any younger. I can’t spend three-four weeks not sleeping and get up and accomplish what I need to. It just isn’t happening. So, I’m doing what I know….my best. During the first week of deployments that may be just making sure the kids are ok and going on auto pilot for everything else. Now, it means making sure the kids are ok and going on auto pilot for everything else. Don’t re-read. You read it right. 😉 

Good night friends. Isn’t it nice to know you’re understood? 

One thought on “I miss sleep

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