It was ten years ago. My life, like so many others has gone on. I’ve had our second child, moved twice, bought a home, many cars, found new passions…laughed. So, why is it so hard even ten years later to wake up and let yesterday go and move on?
I found myself this morning looking at the ceiling above my bed thinking of the walls of fliers with people’s pictures. I remember the sounds from the TV that stayed on for days. I thought of those trapped, missing, and the dead. And I think how it changed my family’s life, my husband’s job, missions and now the state of our country. It still hurts.
I can understand wars for land, freedom, rights, power, disarmament. I really can. Not that any war is right for those reasons, but I can wrap my brain around the concept. I can look back in history and understand moments like Pearl Harbor. Do I like the idea? No. But, I understand what was behind the attack. I can’t understand 9/11. I’ve read so much over the years on viewpoints and still just can’t rationalize the hatred. It’s just disheartening. It goes against everything I have taught my children and raised them to believe. Last night after my 13-year-old watched the footage for the first time, he sat down with my husband and I before bed to talk. I wanted him to get out his thoughts and questions before trying to sleep. He just sat in shock saying things like, “I don’t know what to think…” and “I just don’t understand…” We talked for a while about it all.
My husband and I also took this time to educate him. There are so many people who now believe Muslims are terrible people and that saddens me as much as the attack itself. Are people really that ignorant? I explained to Zach that he may hear others say these things, but he needs to know that these were extremist. They were not just Muslim. The Muslim religion would never tolerate such acts. With that statement, more questions and more thoughts. It was so hard to explain to him that these hijackers really believed in what they were doing and meant harm to innocent people.
Our conversation went well, but it saddened me to see that my son lost something. It was another little piece of innocence that he will never get back. With that said, I think he gained something too. Our talk brought to light prejudice and assumptions. I know he carries my words in his heart. Our children are blank slates that we write on with our words and actions and I do not take that responsibility lightly. I can only hope he gained more than what was lost so that he can make a difference in this world. I think if every parent took this to heart and focused on their children, what a different world this would be.
I know that our world must move on and that if we don’t, the bad guys win. So, I will let my thoughts rest for now. Today is a new day and our lives must go on. I just had to let out these rambling thoughts. They are just that, random rambling thoughts.
You just never know what your day holds, so kiss your loved ones and live your life.