What is and isn’t appropriate? Who makes this decision? There are laws that tell you to turn down loud music so not to offend or bother others. Establishments have rules like, “no shirt-no-shoes-no service!” Bases have many guidelines about this subject. Did you know that there are dress codes for facilities on base? Yep, there sure are, but some women must not know this. Here is an example:
I went to a “family meeting” at one of my husband’s previous commands. These are common meetings that almost every wife that is attached to a boat has been to many times during her husband’s career. They normally happen prior to deploying. During this “pre” deploying meeting, something caught my eye.
A young wife in front of me was wearing extremely low and tight hip hugger jeans. These jeans were sooo tight that they must have cut off circulation to the rest of her body, hence the small and airy lace tank top she was wearing without a bra. I’m assuming it’s purpose was to allow her to breathe more comfortably since the pants seemed to be harming her. My problem wasn’t so much with her pants or the see through top. My problem was the tiny, yet very visible thong underwear which she had showing a good three inches above her pants. Ladies, this is NOT appropriate.
I wasn’t the only one who noticed. Stadium seating can be a very bad thing. There was giggling and a few wives upset with their husband’s straying eyes. For a moment I felt bad for the young wife, but then thought, she has a mirror at her house…. right? There is nothing wrong with dressing your best and trying to get your husbands attention by wearing a cute outfit. But there is something wrong with looking as if you are soliciting yourself.
I just would like to remind women that there are dress codes on base. And even if there weren’t, you should know better. This girl was at a command function representing her husband in front of his seniors, peers, and men he was in charge of. It was a family function where children were allowed to attend. I don’t like that my children see this stuff. It really bothers me. So please, dress appropriately when attending these functions. Always wear under garments as needed and I should not be able to tell what kind or color you are wearing.
Next, I want to touch on the “unsupervised wife” that attends these events. Their husbands have duty or are at home with the kids, therefore leaving them “unsupervised”.
These are the wives that ask the inappropriate questions when the CO, XO, or COB are speaking. Even when it is time to ask questions, these wives ask questions that have already been answered . . .but they were not listening. Sometimes these women are just loud and rude. Don’t start writing hate mail to me. I don’t think all wives should be supervised. I think it’s safe to say most do just fine. There is just always one that goes a little too far and her husband is nowhere to be found. Maybe he snuck out the back the minute she raised her hand and stood up without being called on.
I have personally watched a sailor’s career become tarnished by his wife’s actions. I know a lot of people would say it shouldn’t matter and I agree to an extent. But, I don’t care if you are a civilian at a company meeting or dinner. You still would have to act appropriately and yes, your actions can change the opinion of others about your spouse. So, why chance it? Can’t we just put on under garments and sit quietly through meetings?? Is that too much to ask? If you have a question, wait and ask it at the end. Would that be so hard?
Please ladies just remember that your husbands work so very hard to gain respect. You want to be respected as well. You really need to think before you speak (and get dressed) so that you don’t become the reason your husband is discussed in “the Chief’s quarters”. So, don’t be “that wife”. Let your husbands seniors be talking about him because of his accomplishments, not b/c you had your underwear sticking out of the back of your pants.
And last, when exiting the “meeting” and the CO says, “How are you tonight?” Do not reply in a rude and sarcastic voice, “I’d be better if my husband was home more!”
Yes, it was said.
**This week’s column is completely opinion based. The things mentioned have really happened more than once. I am speaking completely from my point of view and not from any commands. I am not mentioning commands, names, or really any details for that matter. Darn censorship.
Do you have questions comments or topics you would like discussed? E-mail Marie at firstname.lastname@example.org