Thank you for wearing underwear and being appropriate.

What is and isn’t appropriate?  Who makes this decision?  There are laws that tell you to turn down loud music so not to offend or bother others.  Establishments have rules like, “no shirt-no-shoes-no service!” Bases have many guidelines about this subject.  Did you know that there are dress codes for facilities on base?  Yep, there sure are, but some women must not know this.  Here is an example:

I went to a “family meeting” at one of my husband’s previous commands.  These are common meetings that almost every wife that is attached to a boat has been to many times during her husband’s career.  They normally happen prior to deploying. During this “pre” deploying meeting, something caught my eye.

A young wife in front of me was wearing extremely low and tight hip hugger jeans.  These jeans were sooo tight that they must have cut off circulation to the rest of her body, hence the small and airy lace tank top she was wearing without a bra.  I’m assuming it’s purpose was to allow her to breathe more comfortably since the pants seemed to be harming her.  My problem wasn’t so much with her pants or the see through top.  My problem was the tiny, yet very visible thong underwear which she had showing a good three inches above her pants.  Ladies, this is NOT appropriate.

I wasn’t the only one who noticed.  Stadium seating can be a very bad thing. There was giggling and a few wives upset with their husband’s straying eyes.  For a moment I felt bad for the young wife, but then thought, she has a mirror at her house…. right?  There is nothing wrong with dressing your best and trying to get your husbands attention by wearing a cute outfit.  But there is something wrong with looking as if you are soliciting yourself.

I just would like to remind women that there are dress codes on base.  And even if there weren’t, you should know better.  This girl was at a command function representing her husband in front of his seniors, peers, and men he was in charge of.  It was a family function where children were allowed to attend.  I don’t like that my children see this stuff.  It really bothers me.   So please, dress appropriately when attending these functions.  Always wear under garments as needed and I should not be able to tell what kind or color you are wearing.

Next, I want to touch on the “unsupervised wife” that attends these events. Their husbands have duty or are at home with the kids, therefore leaving them “unsupervised”.

These are the wives that ask the inappropriate questions when the CO, XO, or COB are speaking.  Even when it is time to ask questions, these wives ask questions that have already been answered . . .but they were not listening.  Sometimes these women are just loud and rude. Don’t start writing hate mail to me. I don’t think all wives should be supervised. I think it’s safe to say most do just fine. There is just always one that goes a little too far and her husband is nowhere to be found. Maybe he snuck out the back the minute she raised her hand and stood up without being called on.

I have personally watched a sailor’s career become tarnished by his wife’s actions. I know a lot of people would say it shouldn’t matter and I agree to an extent. But, I don’t care if you are a civilian at a company meeting or dinner. You still would have to act appropriately and yes, your actions can change the opinion of others about your spouse. So, why chance it? Can’t we just put on under garments and sit quietly through meetings?? Is that too much to ask? If you have a question, wait and ask it at the end. Would that be so hard?

Please ladies just remember that your husbands work so very hard to gain respect. You want to be respected as well.  You really need to think before you speak (and get dressed) so that you don’t become the reason your husband is discussed in “the Chief’s quarters”.  So, don’t be “that wife”.  Let your husbands seniors be talking about him because of his accomplishments, not b/c you had your underwear sticking out of the back of your pants.

And last, when exiting the “meeting” and the CO says, “How are you tonight?”  Do not reply in a rude and sarcastic voice, “I’d be better if my husband was home more!”

Yes, it was said.

The End

**This week’s column is completely opinion based. The things mentioned have really happened more than once. I am speaking completely from my point of view and not from any commands.  I am not mentioning commands, names, or really any details for that matter. Darn censorship. 

Do you have questions comments or topics you would like discussed? E-mail Marie at

8 thoughts on “Thank you for wearing underwear and being appropriate.

  1. She’s lucky my kids weren’t at that event. They would have called her out loudly and repeatedly.

    And I would have ignored them.

    Going to share this with my little network of FB milspouses… Thanks!

  2. I’m so glad I’m not the only one that leaves those meetings in total shock about the questions asked by wives and clothes some are wearing!! I didn’t know there was a dress code on base but I think it should definitely be posted by the Commissary and Exchange doors!!

  3. Great post. I totally agree. Also, living on base, you just never know who you’ll run into, so it’s best to be appropriate at all times. I’m not saying that we have to have perfect hair and a full face of makeup every time we leave the house, but I’m am saying that I’ll never go to the commissary bra-less. Seriously? What if you see your husband’s boss? Or co-workers? Or even their wives? Whether or not we can legitimately ruin our spouses’ careers by how we dress and act isn’t the issue. The issue should be how we can be the most helpful. And, on the most basic level, that starts by being polite, cheerful, and respectful to their superiors and co-workers, and as put-together as we can be.

  4. I agree with your post. The thong thing really bugs me to no end. I respect everyone’s right to wear whatever underwear you wish, but that doesn’t mean I want to see what you choose. I had a similar incident happen to me, except it was one of the moms at my son’s school (it is a Christian school). I took notice as did most others, it was hard not to. I felt bad because I thought it might be an isolated incident, an accident. It wasn’t. It is very sad what many women resort to in order to get attention. It makes my heart break.

  5. Oh my gosh…I just laughed out loud several times while reading this post. If I didnt know better…I would wonder if your hubby was on my hubby’s boat. I often wonder to myself- Who are these people? Seriously? Who are these people? I chaulk it up to the fact that I am “older” (mid-30’s) and that I have been in with the Navy life for over 10 years, but then I think back to 10 years ago and I still wouldnt have acted/said/ dressed/ etc the way some of these wives do. I floors me to think that they truly think it is acceptable to do certain things.
    Love reading your blog! Thanks for making me laugh!!

  6. I have seen so many! As well as the woman with messy hair wearing jeans and a t shirt to the Christmas party, held at an upscale hotel or resturant. Im not saying im a fashionista but the little black dress seems to work for me lol Either way these women will always be there as long as there are clueless people without class, it allows those with a little to shine 🙂 Then again its always fun to watch what shows up at Subball 😉

  7. I just wanted to say I completely agree, mostly about the dress code. I do not want to know what others are wearing under their clothes and male or female I do not think it looks cute at all to have your underwear sticking out. We pulled up next to a woman once on a motorcycle that had her thong sticking a good couple inches out of her tight jeans, a belly shirt, and heels. Seriously?? On a motorcycle?? Luckily my daughter is so young she cant see out the window yet! But anyway, I love your posts! They’re hilarious and I can really relate! [Esp to the weight loss! ;)] Good luck and I look forward to the next post!

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