Deployment Brain

Posting some older stuff : ) This is from 2009, but new to this blog.

Do you suffer from Deployment Brain?

 Have you ever heard of having “Baby Brain” or a “Pregnancy Moment”?  Recently a girlfriend that is due next month to have a beautiful baby Boy mentioned she forgot to do something and claimed “Baby Brain”.

This made me laugh out loud.  Every mother knows that while you are pregnant you feel as if you have lost a few brain cells, especially if it is not your first pregnancy.  So, I have come up with a new one, “Deployment Brain”.  It’s the perfect excuse, err, reasoning behind some of the completely stupid things I do.  I swear I’m not like this when my husband is home, but I am also glad that he isn’t here to tell me I’m wrong.

This deployment, I have locked myself out of my house and car, walked into the store saying to myself the three things I needed only to walk out with two things because I forgot the last item somewhere between the entrance and check out, and many other little moments of pure stupidity. These moments usually lead to me sitting up at night rubbing my forehead and having a cup of tea.

Last night I watched Army Wives.  It’s my guilty pleasure.  I’ve never watched a soap opera, but I’m assuming that this comes close.  So, on the show last night a frazzled military wife named Pamela was talking to herself while she put away her groceries.  She was mumbling and complaining about an event that happened earlier in the day.  And when the camera pans out, you see her kids looking at her with an odd expression and one of them says, “Mommy, why are you talking to the food??”  She looks puzzled and takes out a box that she just put away and hands it to the kids with the reply, “Have a cookie”.

This really made my laugh.  It was a little too true to life for me.  I too talk to myself like that, especially when I get frustrated.  Don’t go calling the doctors on me.  It doesn’t happen often and I promise there are not any voices talking back. It’s just that when Pamela on the show was talking, you really expected the camera to pan out and see her husband sitting there, but he was deployed.  That’s me.  So, I wonder if that is true for most of us.  I would normally vent to my husband.  But when he is not here I have caught myself mumbling under my breath.  For now, we’ll just say it’s Deployment Brain.

The other night, I had a messy Deployment Brain moment. My kids love rice with dinner, so when those 90 second rice packets came out, I was thrilled.  Especially when you have to be at violin, soccer, and ballet all in one night.  It’s fast and easy, all you have to do is tear the packet corner and punch in 90 seconds on the microwave!

Well, the other night I was fixing dinner and grabbed one of these nifty rice packets.  I put it in the microwave and ran into my room to look for the phone that was ringing.  And yes, if the phone was ever on the charger where it was supposed to be, I could find it before the answering machine picks up.  So, before I could locate the MIA phone, I hear a loud BOOM!  I run back into the kitchen to see my son standing in front of the microwave saying, “Mom, I think you blew up the microwave!”  I quickly open the door shocked that such a loud noise could come from such a small box and inside I find rice everywhere.  Apparently if you forget to tear the corner of the packet, it explodes.  Nice.  I didn’t know so much rice was actually in one of those packets.  It looks a lot different when you see it all over the inside of your microwave. –Sigh-. I know I was mumbling while I cleaned that up.

I think that I get worse each deployment.   It has something to do with our routines.  When my husband leaves, I switch to my deployment schedule.  Almost everything changes.  We have a pretty routine schedule when dad is gone.  Everything runs like clockwork.  And some how I get caught up in the routine and forget to open the packet of rice.  Or I end up mumbling to myself that making simple sandwiches would be a cleaner alternative to a four-course meal. I guess the more deployments I go through, the more my routine becomes second nature and I think less about what I am doing. Maybe I need to be a little more random and unplanned, but the problem is that it is hard enough getting through each day without your better half, the easiest way to do it is to get on a schedule.  So, it looks like I am going to suffer from Deployment Brain until someone figures out how to make this life a little easier.  When I tell my husband about my Deployment Brain, he just shakes his head and smiles.  I’m glad it entertains someone; meanwhile I feel like a complete dits and can’t wait for my husband to return so that everything falls back into place.  Oh yeah, and he can fix dinner for a while!

Have a question, comment, or topic idea you would like to see here?  Email me!

And Thank you to everyone that has sent such wonderful emails!

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