Briefed and Bribed (2008)


I wanted to take a shower.  A SHOWER!?  First, when did such routine maintenance become guarded and appreciated treasures?  Oh yeah, once I had kids.

My kids are finally getting old enough that I can close the bathroom door and take longer than five, I mean three minutes.  In fact, I have been able to shave my legs more in the last year than the last ten that I have been a mother.

But still, doing such a simple thing still seems to be so hard. Mainly because the minute I shut the bathroom door, it must have some sort of affect on the air flow through the house because it sucks all common sense right out of my kids.  When that door closes things happen that make you give the *Mom Look*, followed by, “What were you thinking!? Scissors are for paper ONLY!”

So, tonight, I did things differently.  I sat them both down and went over the details of the event about to unfold.

It went like this:

“Are both of you listening? Good. Mommy would like to take a shower”…giggling followed

“Ok, this is how it’s going to happen”.

“Zach, Mom needs 10 minutes, can you pleeeeaase help your sister with whatever she needs so that she is no knocking on the bathroom door every 30 sec?”  He says, “YES” in a determined voice.

“Kay”, “yes Mommy” she replies with her I’m a perfect angel (not) face.

“I need you not to drive your brother crazy and sit here, on this couch and watch a show.  Can you do that for Mommy?” “MmmHmmm, with a head nod”

“Ok, I am going to go in my bathroom, close the door and take a nice shower that Mommy really needs.  Don’t answer the door, don’t touch the phone, and whatever you do, DON’T TOUCH EACH OTHER!!!”

In unison, “Ok Mom!”

And just to make sure. . .

“If you guys do this, there will be dessert tonight!”  Loud cheers follow.

“Ok, Everybody knows what they are suppose to do?”

Both say, “Yes”

I proceeded to the shower slowly, looking back thinking one of them would already be following me, but to my surprise, I took a nice long hot shower and even made it to applying lotion before the first knock.  It was a record.  We then ate Oreos together. : )

3 thoughts on “Briefed and Bribed (2008)

  1. Haha! I wish the toys-in-the-bathroom trick would work for me. Unfortunately we recently had to take apart the pipes under the sink to retrieve a mechanical pencil(???) and a dental pic because those were the only things he could get to fit down the drain past that handy little cross-bar. Grrr. 🙂

  2. Ha! Yeah, when my children were two, I took 3 min showers when they were dead asleep or brought toys into the bathroom. I even sang songs with them while they sat on the floor outside the curtain just to keep them happy so I could shower. lol Those were fun times. Now they are 12 and 9. They still knock on the door!!! 😉 Good Luck!

  3. Any idea how to get those results out of a 2 yr old boy who’s an only child? I’ll love you forever if you can give me a solution for that one! I got out of the shower once to find my kitchen floor covered with 14 smashed eggs. :*|

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