Where did the time go?

Wow. I can’t believe it’s 2009. With the husband deployed over half of 2008, it went by faster than it should. Which is good during a deployment, but when I looked at my children today and realized how big they are getting it was a bitter sweet feeling. When we are missing our spouses, we want the time to go by as quickly as possible. We’d be OK with blinking and months passing by. I guess it’s a fine line of wanting to be with our loved ones, but living a full life. Sometimes we are in such a rush that we forget that we won’t get this time back. One day, I am going to wake up and my kids will be grown and gone. I have a feeling that I will regret the thoughts of wanting the days to be shorter. It’s hard. I want my husband home, but at the same time I don’t want my life to pass me by. I guess the only way to deal with both is to take it one day at a time. Don’t look at it as weeks or months. They will go by without you counting them. Just live each day to it’s fullest. Which is hard for a wife thinking, “The faster I go to bed, the faster tomorrow comes.”
Many of us are making New Years Resolutions. Most of us won’t keep them. I’m not going to try and do anything spectacular, just enjoy my family. My resolution is to make memories and take as many videos and photos as possible. Because, when my husband and I are sitting in our rocking chairs some day, I want to have those items to remind us of all the amazing things we have done. And to go a little deeper, I am going to be in all the pictures I can. Strange resolution, huh? Well, I hate having my picture taken. I mean really, really, hate it. I’m sure a therapist could link it to some child hood trauma. But, this year I had a “moment” and realized I am doing a terrible thing. My husband and I are young, just shy of 30. And this last year we have watched friends and acquaintances pass away that were our age. It is tragic and unfair. And when family pulled out the pictures and videos I realized how much those things meant. And even if my husband and I live to be 110 years old, I want to have those memories. I want my children to have those memories. Who knew they were so important.
2009 will also be a new chapter for my family. We just hit 8 years in the Navy and will be going to shore for the first time. I am ecstatic. My only concern is what do I do with my husband when he doesn’t leave after a couple months? It has been over 6 years since we have lived together longer than 4 months straight. We tease that he will drive me crazy and that after three years of shore, we’ll be begging to go back to sea. I will get a ton of writing material from this experience! But, in reality, we can’t wait to coach youth sports together, be able to plan vacations, and just have dinner every night together. These are simple things taken for granted by so many civilian families. I guess it really is the little things that can make you happy.
My advice for the New Year would be to keep the resolutions simple. Don’t make it a job. Enjoy your self, family and friends. And remember that you are not getting any younger! The advice I am giving myself is to breathe more. I want to be with my children and husband and just take it all in. I will take a deep breath and save the memory. And last, I am going to take each day as it is. I’m not going to rush it. In fact, I’m going to hold on to it as long as I can. Whatever is happening in your life, whatever chapter you are in, I hope you have a great start to your New Year.

4 thoughts on “Where did the time go?

  1. lala,

    Doesn’t it sound like something sooo out of reach!? lol
    I just cant imagine what it will be like. ; )
    I’m sure it will be awesome.

    I just don’t know what we will do with the free time!?

    Thanks for the comment!

  2. Terra,

    Same to you! They only way to say it is, “It sucks”. lol
    It’s so hard to slow down when I’ll you want is Homecoming to come!!!

    {{BIG HUG}}

    M : )

  3. M–
    This is an amazing post! You are absolutely right, and it makes me feel that I should slow down also. I want this year to rush by so he will be home again, but then I realize that I don’t get this year back. I should use it to do some soul searching. Thank you for this post! I hope that you and your family have a Blessed New Year!

    Stay in touch,

    Terra 🙂

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