Briefed and Bribed

I wanted to take a shower.  A SHOWER!?  First, when did such routine maintenance become guarded and appreciated treasures?  Oh yeah, once I had kids.

My kids are finally getting old enough that I can close the bathroom door and take longer than five, I mean three minutes.  In fact, I have been able to shave my legs more in the last year than the last ten that I have been a mother.

But still, doing such a simple thing still seems to be so hard. Mainly because the minute I shut the bathroom door, it must have some sort of affect on the air flow through the house because it sucks all common sense right out of my kids.  When that door closes things happen that make you give the *Mom Look*, followed by, “What were you thinking!? Scissors are for paper ONLY!”

So, tonight, I did things differently.  I sat them both down and went over the details of the event about to unfold.

It went like this:

“Are both of you listening? Good. Mommy would like to take a shower”…giggling followed

“Ok, this is how it’s going to happen”.

“Zach, Mom needs 10 minutes, can you pleeeeaase help your sister with whatever she needs so that she is no knocking on the bathroom door every 30 sec?”  He says, “YES” in a determined voice.

“Kay”, “yes Mommy” she replies with her I’m a perfect angel (not) face.

“I need you not to drive your brother crazy and sit here, on this couch and watch a show.  Can you do that for Mommy?” “MmmHmmm, with a head nod”

“Ok, I am going to go in my bathroom, close the door and take a nice shower that Mommy really needs.  Don’t answer the door, don’t touch the phone, and whatever you do, DON’T TOUCH EACH OTHER!!!”

In unison, “Ok Mom!”

And just to make sure. . .

“If you guys do this, there will be dessert tonight!”  Loud cheers follow.

“Ok, Everybody knows what they are suppose to do?”

Both say, “Yes”

I proceeded to the shower slowly, looking back thinking one of them would already be following me, but to my surprise, I took a nice long hot shower and even made it to applying lotion before the first knock.  It was a record.  We then ate Oreos together. : )

4 thoughts on “Briefed and Bribed

  1. Amber,
    LOL! Yes, I can only imagine what it must be like for you!
    I just can’t seem to grasp why it’s so hard to take time for yourself, when we know our kids are good. I can do anything else, but the minute I’m out of sight, they must get into the sugar or something…..

  2. Boy do I know that routine!!! I have to go so far as to put the gils in one room and brother in mine…so he’s just on the other side of the bathroom door. If I hear screaming and he isnt right there where I can see him, it’s probably his fault….

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